cathartic creativity

have you ever been compelled to do something spontaneously...as if you were encouraged from within to do or say or be something meaningful?

have you ever had something from the past creep up on you in the present? i mean...where, because of a current situation, you feel transported back emotionally to a place that seems so familiar and you have to remind yourself what was in the past and what is right now.

recently i experienced this sort of thing (and although i won't go into detail of the whats and the whys, for that isn't my point here, rather i want to focus on what happened in the midst of it). instead of reacting or responding like i might normally have done, i chose to paint my way through the emotions...a cathartic & therapeutic experience with art.

don't get me wrong...painting has always naturally been a bit therapeutic for me whenever i allow my creativity to flow. and i have on occasion utilized art to help others experience some inner breakthroughs and freedom in their lives. but rarely have i created art for myself to specifically work through a personal issue of my own. i know, i know...it's about time, eh?!

years ago i drew a pencil sketch of how i saw myself at the time based on what i was experiencing emotionally. this week i felt a deep intense desire to search for that sketch amidst my numerous sketch books and bring it to life through paint onto canvas. i never did find the sketch but it has been engraved in my memory for years and i decided to go ahead with it anyways.

as i cranked up the music and began grabbing paint cans and brushes, inspiration washed over me like a giant ocean wave and i was overcome with a new vision for the painting. it became clear to me that i wasn't supposed to just paint the sketch the way i had drawn it all those years ago...but rather, i was to paint the sketch as it would appear today (with where i am at emotionally now). i was to depict the changes in me (i am not the same person i was when i did the original sketch) and therefore beable to tell my story of emotional and spiritual growth.

now i recognize that i'm speaking very vaguely and i apologize (i don't really want to go into details here). but if you can think about what i'm trying to say...almost 20 years ago i did a sketch about myself that depicted my emotional state during some very difficult circumstances in my life. it was a very dark, lonely, selfish sort of sketch expressing deep hurt and pain in response to negative circumstances in my life. the sketch showed destruction and desolation and it was quite depressing. then this week i was compelled to paint that sketch...but instead of painting it like the original, i knew i was to paint the same concept or scene...but representing where i am today emotionally. i was to still express deep pain and hurt-for we will always have sorrow & grief in our lives, but this time showing a huge difference: instead of selfishness and lonliness, there would be hope, freedom, and community through God's love-for it is through great suffering that the most intense joy is experienced. and through painting it that way it was to show the change and growth in my heart.

and I must say...it really was therapeutic! when i was finished i stepped back from the canvas with tears streaming down my cheeks. it's an amazing feeling when you have been able to look into your heart (amidst all the brokenness and woundings) and see God & His Body and experience His love, His acceptance, His grace, His forgiveness. it's liberating!

the above photo is a bit of the painting i created. this is the center of the canvas. i just wanted to show you some of the emotion that is in it. art can be an amazing tool for understanding.

Painting During Worship

These photos were taken this last Sunday morning. Myself and the Director of VineArts were able to join in as part of the worship team on the stage for the morning services at the Boise Vineyard. Along with the band, we helped to lead the congregation in the worship of God by painting inspiring words and colors onto the backdrop painting. Together we painted side by side.

The thought of creating art as being a viable way to worship God can be somewhat of a foreign concept to many people (regardless of if they're followers of Christ or not). I believe the words of Romans 12:1 in the Bible "So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life---your sleeping, eating, going to work, and walking around life---and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing to do for him." I believe that God placed creativity in each of us (and just as we are all uniquely different in who we are individually...that creativity will look and feel different for each person). Art is one way that many of us are able to express who we are deep down. Just as the singers sing their songs, the musicians play their instruments, the speakers speak their words, the dancers dance their movements...the artists create their art. I believe God wants us to worship him no matter where we are or what we are doing.

What is worship anyways? What does it mean to worship God? Good questions.

Thankfulness. Praise. Gratitude. Awe. Wonder. Joy. Peace. Hope. Love.

Perhaps we should chew on the Bible verses in Philippians 4:8-9 "Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious---the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned, what you heard, and what you saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies."

It's all about the SONG.

I've posted before about the performance painting I have done in music venues downtown Boise. It's no different to me whether I'm painting in a church or painting in a club (and I don't believe it makes much difference to God either). It's no difference to me whether I'm painting a landscape in oils or an abstract in mixed media. And it certainly makes no difference whether I am painting a "religious" scene or not. I paint because it's what I was made to do. I paint from heart. And I worship when I paint because it's what I'm compelled to do.

Deep thought: Next time you do that thing you do (whatever that is)...consider for a moment...could you offer it up as worship to God? What would that mean to you? Would you be okay with that? Does it change you at all inside when you do? It's just something to think about.

photos taken by R.H.

drops like stars

i just read Rob Bell's newest book "Drops Like Stars". i'm compelled to recommend it to you. it speaks to the artistic spirit. it speaks to the human heart. i found myself profoundly touched by the message in this simple-yet-memorable coffee-table-style book that houses stunning photography and "a few thoughts on creativity and suffering."

i've been a fan of Rob Bell's teachings, books, and NOOMA dvd films for several years now. if you would like to check things out, you can go to the following websites:

http://www.robbell.com

http://www.flannel.org

adding to the backdrop

today myself and the director of VineArts continued painting on the backdrop that hangs on the stage in the sanctuary. we added words and phrases and color to the right hand panel during the 2 morning worship services while the worship band led the congregation in singing. the backdrop is 3 12ftx18ft canvas panels hung up like curtains. the theme of this backdrop goes along with the sermon series that the pastors are teaching us right now. we're focusing on the letters in the New Testament that Paul wrote to various churches while he was in prison. here i added orange and yellow to intensify the color and bring out the stones in the painting that turn into parchment letters as they burst forth (representing the Word of God coming forth to everyone).
here i added blue and a purple-red to distingquish the stones of the prison more. i also did some splatters of various colors throughout to contine to add to the grungy texture effects.

currently we are studying the book of Collossians (the letter that Paul wrote to the new Christian church of Collosai). here the director painted a phrase that the book opens up with in the first chapter "grace & peace to you".

the director also painted the word "fullness" which is spoken of in chapter 2.

another phrase that the director painted was "mystery revealed Christ". Paul talks about that the mystery of who the Messiah was to be was fulfilled in Christ Jesus.

here is the word "Song" that the director painted on the center panel during the worship services for the first Sunday that the backdrop was up. it was the introduction to the sermon series. the word "Song" was painted to represent the common thread throughout the Bible, throughout history...that the Gospel of God is a Song to creation, sung through Christ's life throughout the pages of the Bible and into our lives. we are to "sing the song". it's a metaphor...it means that God's heart has always desired for us to be in relationship with him...and for our hearts to be free.

the word "identity" was also painted by the director on the kick-off Sunday onto the left panel of the backdrop near where the cross is situated on the stage in the sanctuary. it means that our identity should be in the freedom of Christ and life with him...instead of in the bondage of our problems and circumstances.

Refuge in You: a VineArts Exhibit

this week my team and i installed a new art exhibit in the VineArts Gallery. this show is called "Refuge in You". the artists created pieces that dealt with the subject of turning to God as our refuge and shelter when we experience difficult times in our lives.

this is a quick video taken during the opening reception for the exhibit.